Can someone with herpes dating someone else safely

June 8, Anyway, she let me know that between her last boyfriend and me, she had a one-night stand with a guy who gave her Herpes. All I know is that it places things in a different light.

Living with Herpes

I really do like her, but this seems to change things. The real question is should I knowingly go into a relationship with a girl who has Herpes, and will, in all likelihood, give it to me? Looking forward to your advice…. If you've been good friends with her for awhile, and you both have feelings for each other, there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't get into a relationship with her.

By telling you, she was being responsible. There are ways that you can protect yourself, and just because she has it doesn't mean that you're definitely going to get it although, I'm not gonna lie, there is a definite possibility. If she was comfortable can cared enough to tell you, I'm sure she won't have any problems answering any questions you have what type, etc. I'm sure she told you so if you guys do get into a sexual relationship, you can protect yourself.

She obviously cares about you enough to let you know, please, please, please don't consider it a dealbreaker. Will love last longer than the length of time you can enjoy good health? If you have your health you have everything. Those are numbers from some pretty big studies. Many carry the virus and never have outbreaks.

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Some people have infrequent outbreaks, some have them all the time. One need not be having an outbreak to pass it on to someone else. What does this mean for you? Well, you may already be carrying the virus and not know it. If she has oral herpes if she gets sores on her lips , and you've kissed her, even in passing, she may have already passed it on to you.

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Dating someone with herpes??

If she has genital herpes, it is true that condoms do not prevent the spread of the virus. It's impossible to say how it would be for you to have it without actually having it. Unless you already have it and have not had any outbreaks, you could fall into any of the three groups of people in terms of outbreak prevalence. The anti-virals that are prescribed for herpes do not cure the disease, but there is good data suggesting that they help to control outbreaks in people who get outbreaks.

More importantly, they cut down on viral shedding whether there is an outbreak present or not, which means presumably, this kind of thing is very hard to study that they help to curtail the spread of the virus from one person to another. If you've got other questions you can email me from my profile. I work in an STD clinic. Well, you feel how you feel, so don't beat yourself up over feelings of disappointment or fear. But she told you, up front, knowing that it could affect the outcome, and before anything physical happened.

Try to recognize how hard it was for her to do that, realize that she didn't have to, and at the very least, respect her for that. Also, you aren't necessarily doomed to get herpes from her. With proper care and management, in fact, you shouldn't get it at all. I had a boyfriend disclose this to me, we were intimate, I don't have herpes.

But before going any further with the advice, you really need to talk to her first, to get all those particulars you don't have - whether it's oral or genital, whether she has it under control, etc. You may also want to talk to a medical professional to get the facts, or head over to WebMD. Lots and lots and lots of people have some form of the herpes virus, some estimates are surprisingly high.

It's not unsusual, and honestly, not all that big a deal if monitored. Many people would never have told you, she risked a lot to do it. It means she has integrity and honesty, two very important things in terms of a long relationship. Uni verse is right. You should instead marry a deceptive, dishonest harpy who will spend all your money, cheat on you, beat your kids, and molest uyour grandkids.

Just as long as she doesn't have herpes, because that is the very worst thing in the world. She put your well-being ahead of her own interests I would consider this a deal-breaker. Although it sounds like you're looking for an excuse to go out with her, so by all means do. She told you before anything happened - big props for that. How about just finding a similarly nice girl who doesn't have herpes? Like OmieWise said, some people with herpes get outbreaks all the time.

I seem to be under the impression that a large percentage of people with herpes have like one outbreak. Of those who have more than one outbreak, a large percentage only have a few outbreaks.

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And then the small percentage that's left gets them regularly. I do not work in an STD clinic. Knowing these actual stats may help you weigh the risks in your particular situation. I'm guessing that it's genital she has. If it were oral would you worry so much? An ex- of mine used to get a few days warning before she had outbreak of oral herpes and so it was pretty easy to avoid making contact at an infectious time.

She'd had it since she was a teenager and didn't get outbreaks that often - usually when she was really run down. IIRC genital herpes 'works' in a similar way. Two things to remember Years ago a friend asked me to help him do some web research and I was surprised at some of the things we found out. He was distraught but finding out more helped him get it in perspective.


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He's now happily married to an uninfected woman so don't assume the worst. IMHO this woman gets extra double points for being upfront and open with you and she's done so because she cares about you and is a good person. Couples deal with far, far worse things than herpes so if everything else checks out OK you shouldn't worry. And don't forget about the blow job bonus If that's not a false dichotomy, I don't know what is. I don't know what I'd do in your situation. But I don't think anyone else has any cause to judge you on who you choose to have a romantic relationship ahem, pwb She has herpes, not a cold.

As in "that shit does not go away" herpes. As in "can be transmitted even when no symptoms are apparent" herpes. What's the difference between herpes and love?

Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes?

Get herpes now, because you might get it next week? There's no girl on this earth worth getting herpes for, and don't let anyone lie to you otherwise. There are plenty of non-infected girls out there who are just as funny, bright, and attractive. It's herpes, man, and she's just a girl. Those are about the most useless reasons for doing anything I've ever read, but sun-el already disected them. Look, if you decide it's worth it, go for it. But don't let anyone shame you into it because she told you. That was the right thing to do, but it's like giving an award to a "good parent".

But it's your life and your body. You owe her nothing more than honesty, exactly what she gave you. I wouldn't call him a "total dick" if this is a dealbreaker, but I would definitely advise him to stick with it. She will be hurt if you turn her down, but I would not let that guide your decision. As others have said, this girl not only demonstrated her great character but also the strength of her feelings for you. If you really do like her, by all means go for it — at the same time, don't get into a relationship you will regret or a situation in which you will even unconciously resent her.

Dating someone with herpes?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect

But I think that it's workable. Your attitude is a little cruel, sun-el. She sounds like a nice girl who takes responsibility for her health. Obviously without all the information, it's impossible for us or him to make a decision about this.